Gabriev
by Maelan Peredhil
Summary: Lina is after Gourry's Sword of Light (again). And the oh-so-intelligent master swordsman talks himself into some fine spots. Very funny, according to my friend. Please R&R.


'Gourry!'   
'No.'   
'Please? Come on, give me the Sword of Light, Gourry! Pleeeease? Please please please please please pretty please!'   
'Lina, my head hurts enough from after having to fight all-'   
'If you give it to me, I'll be quiet!'   
'Isn't there any other way to get that to happen?'   
'I'll pay you for it!'   
'You'll pay me so you'll be quiet?'   
'No, you idiot! I'll pay you for the Sword!'   
'No way; I remember your last offer. Do you really think I'm that dumb?'   
'Yes, mostly. But... I NEED that sword, because... because what if it's that time of month and I can't do magic, and I need to protect myself? What then? Don't you care about my safety?' Her lower lip threatened tears.   
'You seem to have done fine without the Sword for this long.'   
'Well... Whatever. Why can't I have it?'   
'Look, Lina. As you know, it's an heirloom of the Gabrievs. Why don't you understand that?'   
'I do understand. Why can't it be my heirloom instead?'   
'I don't think you understand. The Sword of Light can only belong to you if your last name is Gabriev.'   
'If my last name is Gabriev... Hmmmm....' 

'Do you have any brothers, Gourry?' Lina asked that night as they sat by a small fire. She was in an unusually silent mood; though perhaps that was only because she had a full meal before her.   
'No.'   
'Cousins?'   
'No.'   
'Um... Nephews?'   
'No.'   
Lina stopped to think, then sighed. 'Well then, I guess I'll have to marry you.'   
Gourry choked on his fish. 'What?! Marry- me?'   
'Well, I don't really want to, but it's the only way I can be a Gabriev.'   
'I don't understand.'   
'You're so slow. You said it yourself; only Gabrievs can have the Sword of Light. So since you don't have any marrigable relatives, you're the only choice left. I'm not any happier about it than you, believe me.'   
'I still don't understand.'   
'No surprise there. Now listen to me. If I marry you, then I'll be Lina Gabriev, so then my last name is Gabriev, so then I can have the Sword of Light!'   
Gourry put his face in his hands. 'I can't believe this is happening.'   
'I know; isn't it crazy what I'll do for some things. So, will you marry me?'   
'No.'   
'Aww, why not?'   
'Well... the first reason is... just no. The second is... I was kinda hoping for a wife with a... rounder chest.'   
'WHAT!?' Very shortly after, Gourry was desperately wishing that he had had a helmet. 

'Why shouldn't I just fireball you since you won't give me the Sword?' Lina demanded the next night.   
Thinking quickly (for once), Gourry reached over to her and snatched the food from her hands. 'Because if you do, your dinner gets burnt to a crisp too.' He held the food tightly in his fist.   
'That's not fair! Give it back, you thick-skulled, sword-swinging idiot! Oooh!' 

'Wake up, Gourry!' Lina nudged the sleeping swordsman none to gently with her boot. Gourry yawned, sat up, and opened his eyes- just in time to see a brilliant flash of light as Lina cast a light spell in front of his eyes. Darkness obscured his vision and he fell back, groaning. He felt a slight tug at his side and heard a little chuckle from Lina. As soon as he was able to see, he jumped up.   
Lina stood a safe few paces off, admiring the hilt of Gourry's sword. 'Thanks, Gourry. Too kind of you to give me this.'   
'What? I didn't give it to you! You- Hey, come back!' He chased after Lina as she dashed in circles, keeping just ahead of him. 'Lina, give it back to me! It's my only weapon!'   
'Get a new sword!'   
'Lina, it's my family's-'   
'Heirloom, I know. Too bad for the Gabriev house!'   
'Lina, here, I'll pay you for it.' Both stopped running. Lina looked at Gourry consideringly.   
'Well... How much?'   
'Seventeen gold pieces?'   
'What!? You expect me to give it back to you for that little? I'm not as dumb as... as you, Gourry Gabriev!'   
'It's all I have!'   
'Pity.' She turned away.   
'What do you want? I'll do anything you ask!' Gourry pleaded, slumping down.   
Lina turned back. 'Oh? Anything?'   
'Uh... yes. I think.'   
'Done.' She tossed his sword back to him.   
'Done? But there wasn't any deal?'   
'Yes, there was. You have to do anything I want, until I say you can stop!' She grinned innocently up at him. 'Isn't that wonderful?'   
'How,' moaned Gourry, sitting down dejectedly, 'do I get myself into these things?' 


End file.
